Taking off the mask!

Hey all!!

Taking off the mask!!

I recently watched a film, “Super Christian” which is actually really funny, although it is a little out of date. (was made before I was born) but the principle still applies. Some people can put on a mask, adopt this persona of pretending to be someone they’re not. This film showed the example of a Sunday morning only Christian. Someone who, on Sundays over compensates for the week they have just had, by trying to be the best they can be. Do everything you’re supposed to do while people are watching you. But you make sure people see what you are doing too, so that they see this imagine that you pretend to be. You do all this on a Sunday, and give God the week off.

Newsflash people…there will always be one person who can see through that image. God will…and He will send someone else who can see right through you too. Someone who perhaps has been there and done that and can recognise the signs. Listen to them, they have been there and done that and will therefore know how to overcome it. You can learn from them what to do to really take off your mask and start being yourself. Someone who doesn’t have to pretend to be someone they’re not, but can be exactly who they truly want to be. Be yourself people. If you are struggling to live a life for God, then seek help in someone who completely trust. It will help you.

Be yourself people, and don’t be afraid to show who you really are. If people are really your friends, they will accept you as you….and no one else.

peace

girl in the single lane

Waiting for the wrong guy!

Hey all you bloggers out there!

Girl in the single lane checking in…been a few days I know…but I’ve had so much on. This is one thing that’s been highlighted to me over the past few days…through the works of my sister. Clinging onto something that might never happen, is so damaging. Waiting is a good thing people, really it is, but when you are waiting for the wrong guy, you can be totally blind to the guy God is showing you. You can be totally consumed by this one guy, that you are blind to the man God is showing you, is the man for you.

My older sister…bless her, is still recovering from a hurtful break up, which happened a few months ago. I think part of her still thinks he could change, and that they could have a future together…That may be so, but she has got to bury him. Leave your past behind you and move on. If something happens in the future, let it be in God’s time. Waiting for something, that doesn’t happen, fills you up with so much false hope and what a disappointment when it doesn’t happen. We waste so much time thinking, “he could change” when God is clearly saying “He’s not for you”.

Learning to read the signs aint always easy. Sometimes we see what’s right in front of us, but don’t act on it, because we are either scared of what might happen, or we know what will happen and don’t want that to happen. Sometimes we enjoy living the way we do, and know deep down, this is not God’s plan. For example…God could tell you to get out of a relationship, you may not want to, but you know God wants you out. What do you do? LEAVE!!! Trust me! It’s the best thing you could do. I know in the back of your mind, you’ll be thinking, “I don’t want to hurt anyone”, I’ve been there, but God has bigger plans for you.

Bury your past, and move on. Don’t cling to something that may never happen, because you are setting yourself up to be hurt again. Let it go!

peace

girl in the single lane

falling in love with your best friend

hey all you bloogers!!
how are we all this fine day? I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my prince charming. I was reminded about the book of Songs of Solomon, and read it this week...what a book.

It was brought to my attention, through watching films and stuff...that you and your prince charming should be really good friends before anything develops. It is so important that you can be friends. perhaps for longer than you wanted to...but being friends is important. It allows you to see them differently, see a different side to them..which is a good thing. A friendship is a strong bond that will struggle to be broken, and makes for a promising future. I got this little story in an email today, and thought it was sweet.

Girl: I'm always here for you
Boy: I know
Girl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like her so much
Girl: Talk to her
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me
Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say
Girl: Tell her how much you like her
Boy: I tell her that daily
Girl: what do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh some boy
Boy: Oh... she won't like me either.
Girl: She does
Boy: How do you know..
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy: I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.

Aww...aint that cute!? It would be nice if this was reality, but the truth is...I don't know what will happen when my prince finds me. But I do know that it will be magical...it will give me thousands of butterflies...and will be a day I never forget....

What do you think?

peace

girl in the single lane

Father’s Day

hey all you bloggers out there!

A speical entry for Father's Day which is coming up..this Sunday I think.

Father I need you. You have been my comfort and support over the years. You have corrected me when I’ve been wrong (and I know that isn’t always easy). You have always had my back daddy. You know when to be my knight in shinning armour and when to stand back and let me fight my own battles. You know when I’m happy and you know when I’m sad. Nothing gets past you daddy. You know when I’m hurting and you feel my pain. When people hurt me, it hurts you too daddy…but you put your pain aside to comfort me daddy.

You always want the best for me daddy, and you’ve never let me down. When other people knock my confidence daddy, you are there to build me up. If I’m in a place that causes me pain, you rush to take me out, sheltering me from any more pain. The love you have shown me daddy, is the love I want to show to my own family some day. Help me do that daddy. I look at the love you give mummy, and it makes me happy.

I talk here about my earthly father, but also my Heavenly Father. He has given me life, a family, friends…everything that I have…it came from Him. I don’t deserve the love you give me Father, nor do I deserve you forgiveness…yet to still offer it so freely. Your love for my is unconditional, even though I have caused you so much pain. My sin nailed Your Son to a cross, and You still forgive me? I cannot fathom Your love and Your greatness.

Thank you Father for all that You have done for me.

peace

girl in the single lane

does God hate man?

Hey all you bloggers out there!

Girl in the single lane checking in! At my bible study last night, a very interesting discussion was created through one verse. “Jacob I have loved, Esau I have hated”.

Can our all powerful, all wonderful God hate someone? Why would He create someone He was going to hate? God knows our future, He is the beginning and the end. But He has also given us freewill. He knows who will reject Him, and I can’t begin to imagine that kind of pain. So, does He hate those who hate Him and reject Him? I don’t think so. After the study, I can to the conclusion that God does not hate man, but the actions of man. He sent His Son to save sinners. Why would He do that, if He hated sinners?

Our God is a loving God, but He is also a God of wrath, which sometimes I think we forget. Sometimes as well, it is so to dislike a person…but I can’t honestly say that there is one person I truly hate. I dislike some people and the behaviour of others…but to hate someone? That’s a bit harsh. Love your enemies!! How easy is that? Answer…not very. Life is full of struggles, that’s what keeps it challenging. Can you imagine how boring life would be if everything was simple and there were no challenges? If everybody did the same thing day after day…what a boring life that would be.

I like a challenge, and I’m not afraid of a challenge. I’ll take on anything even if I know I’m going to fail…at least I can say I tried.

Any comments of opinions...please add.

peace

girl in the single lane

when the past comes back to haunt you

Hey all you bloggers out there!!

When the past comes back to haunt you…I think sometimes, we don’t let go of the harsh things that have happened to us in the past. You think…why? Why me? Why would you allow this to happen to me? I don’t get it. Ever felt like that? The past is just that, the past…but without the past, we would fail to exist as we are today.

We all make silly mistakes in the past, of course we do…we are only human after all. You think you finally let out of that hurtful thing that he did, you get on with your life…and then everything explodes. You realise that you didn’t completely deal with it and it blows up in your face. I let you in, I trusted you, why would you hurt me like that? Why am I the one being punished here and you’re getting off free? You may think like this, trust me you will probably think this…but his punishment will come. It will hit him so hard, he will not know what hit him.

Many things happen that we do not comprehend, and too often try to deal with things on our own. Our strength aint enough to carry the burdens that we try to carry. Even worse…we foolishly try to get revenge ourselves too. This is probably the worst thing you could do. It may make you feel better, but only temporarily, that will quickly fade. God will give the fitting punishment. Leave it to Him…after all, He is only the beginning and the end!!

Try not take things into your own hands….your owns hands are only human and you are doomed to make mistakes. Give it up to the higher power. Forgive and forget, but your past behind you and move on.

peace

girl in the single lane

not knowing is frustrating…but when you know…you know!

Hey all you bloggers out there

Many people have asked me a thousand times, why I want to be a social worker. Most people think social workers do nothing but remove children from their homes…well I’m afraid you are far from right. The area of social work I want to work in, is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I had a few ideas of what kinda line of work I would want to do, and just prayed for guidance. Well, I considered picking up two psychology modules during the summer and trying for a double honours and go into self-harm…but that door stayed firmly closed.

It has been a lifelong ambition of mine to learn sign language, and yeh…I know the basics and a couple of church songs (as you do). How amazing is God? I prayed for a sign and I got like three. Did any of you all know that it was national deaf week just a few weeks ago? No…me neither. But it was…and just the other day at work…man!! I have never seen it so busy yet so peaceful at the same time. A mini bus full of deaf children filled McDonalds….it was amazing to see the children have so much fun silently. How amazing are children like that? I really want to go into that line of work when I graduate, after having to go to college though and learn properly.

Not knowing…can be a killer. Not knowing what lies ahead or who your prince charming will be. My boss’s dog ran away last night…the not knowing if he was ok or where he was…was worse then the fact that he ran away. Stick it out though people, you will know when the time is right for you to know. Not a minute sooner, not a minute later…God’s timing is perfect.

peace

girl in the single lane

you coward

Hey all you bloggers out there…

This is going come in two parts…but things I really want to talk about, but they mood create very different moods and I don’t want one to appear like an after thought. So first things first…you coward. As this is the title, I should probably talk about that.

You are such a coward! I can’t believe your weakness. I thought you were different from the rest, but you aint. We are taught to be in the world but not off it, and you have failed. Sometimes God calls you to leave a place by taking you somewhere else, like a CU. God called me to leave this club and become an active member in my CU and I know that it is His will, because, this has been anything but easy. I have lost your friendship and my memory begins to fade. I hoped this wouldn’t be the end, but I’m afraid it has come to that. You deceived me!

I though we had worked things out, being mature Christians, and now I know the truth. If you have so many questions about what happened, why not just ask me? I know the answers! But no…you talk about me behind my back. I thought you would at least have the guts to say it to my face. I guess I was wrong. I must have misread you.

Ever felt like that? You think you know someone, and trust them and love them as a brother (sister) and then they are not who you thought they were? I feel that way right now. I feel like I totally misread people in my life, I always do. Here are a few examples from the past and the present, some I think will relate to a few people…others less likely.

1. When you like a person, it can be so easy to misread things. Sometimes you read into things too much, and not enough. Case study: see you meet someone, and you email them back and forth all the time, and say up all hours texting them…then face to face, you get nothing. Are you misreading the signs? Perhaps he was just being friendly texting you back…maybe…how do you find out?

2. You have a group of friends who you love very much. You haven’t known them too long, but you clicked almost instantly. For whatever reason, something happens which divides the group, or just excludes you from it. You keep in touch with as many people as you can, but few are interested…then you find out that some of the few you trusted…are the people who are talking about you behind your back. That hurts.

3. Misjudging people. There is a little girl at my work, who is picked on by most of the staff…and for what? None of them have even given her the time of day. I was “warned” about her before work one day…and she is one of the loveliest people in my work. My co-workers have completely misjudged her…and I think that happens too often. Some people can appear really shy face to face, does that mean that we pull away, or should we take one more step?

Just a few things that have been on my mind today.

peace

girl in the single lane

it's such a perfect day

hey all!!

How are we this lovely day? What a lovely day eh? My sister and I spent the day at beautiful George Square today...it was so peaceful. It was great just to sit and admire God's beautiful creation. They beauty of the sun shinning down and beating off the grass...watching the grass glow as it does. Watching how the leaves of the tress move in the light wind...is like swan lake....so beautiful. I had the day off work today...so I was happy for the rest.

Days like these though, when you have too much time to think and day dream, can be dangerous. You can allow your mind to do overtime in drifting away. Especially when everywhere you look, you see another happy couple. You day dream of the things you don't have....ever noticed that? The things we dream about, we don't have but do want. In the dictionary next to waiting, should be a picture of me...sometimes I feel like that is all I do. Waiting around for results, for my friends to turn up, for someone to text me back (the longest wait ever) and lastly...waiting for Mr Right. Like I've said before, too many people settle for Mr Right Now instead of waiting for Mr Right. He will be worth the wait people, you have my word.

That might not mean much to some of you...well anyone who reads this who doesn't know me. How many people actually read this? Besides the few who comment, I struggle to think of many other people who actually read this. Perhaps this is a pointless exercise...well if I do stop, you all will just have to buy my book when it comes out God willing.

peace

girl in the single lane

why not?

Hey all you bloggers out there, girl in the single lane checking in. lately I’ve been writing about what you do when you like someone, well lets see what Hilary Duff has to say.

You think you're going nowhere
When you're walking down the street
Acting like you just don't care
And life can be so sweet
And why you wanna be like that
Since there's nothing new
You're not fooling no one
You're not even fooling you

So walk a little slower
And open up your eyes
Sometimes it's so hard to see
The good things passing by
And there may never be a sign
No flashing neon light
I'm telling you to make your move
Or when the time is right

(So) Why not? Take a crazy chance
Why not? Do a crazy dance
If you lose the moment You might lose a lot
So why not?Why not?

You always dress in yellow
When you wanna dress in gold
Instead of listenin' to your heart
You do just what you're told
You keep waiting where you are
And what you'll never know
Let's just get into your carAnd GO baby GO

(So) Why not? Take a crazy chance
Why not? Do a crazy dance
If you lose the momentYou might lose a lot
So why not?Why not?

I can be the one for you Maybe yes maybe no
It could be the thing to doWhat I'm sayin' is
…It would take a little And it might take a lot But why not?

Mmm…well that’s interesting. She’s right, there might never be a flashing neon light, telling you to make your more or when the time is right…so why not? I could give a good few reasons why not? For a start…this guy you like may have a girl friend that you just don’t know about. Also…ask yourself who well you know this person and know that people only let you see, what they want you to see. This guy could appear perfect…he really could, trust me I’ve been there…but you have got to know what he believes. People think I’m stupid when I say that two Christians can be unevenly yoked, but I believe they can. Partly because I’ve been there, you know that (see entry: Heartbreaker got the best of me).

He’s taller than you, just the way you like it. He has brown hair that sits to perfectly all the time. His eyes sparkle every time he looks at you. His smile melts your heart and you get butterflies every time you see him. You see him and you just want to spend time with him…a little too shy though and you can’t bring yourself to say hello. He sees you from a distance and gazes softly into your eyes…he’s the one!

True love’s first kiss

There he was standing
Where we arranged to meet
Nervous yet excited
I walk watching my feet
I meet him there
And he gently takes my hand
We walk for a while,
Then we stop and we stand
When we stop
He moves to see me
Then I get butterflies
All through my body
I look into his eyes
And I can see the love
I thank the Lord my God
Who lives up above.
He moves in closer
I can smell his aftershave
The flow of love smothers me
Just like a wave
Butterflies continue
To erupt in my belly
Then at the moment
My legs turn to jelly
He places his hand
Gently on my waist
I stood there and acted
Upon my sudden haste.
He moved in closer
But nervously I pull away
“it was a small ray of light
On a dark day”
He moves in
And places his lips on mine
I can taste the love
From his lips divine
His lips on mine
With a soft gentle touch
Is something I longed
For very much.

I have to add…yes I did write this, but is it based on a true event…no!!! Don’t be daft. This is just some stupid little girl’s crazy idea of what she thinks true love’s first kiss will be like. Is she right? you tell me.

peace

girl in the single lane

breakaway

Hey all you bloggers out there!!

When I don’t sign my entries, it’s because they are song words which I didn’t write, hence I’m not taking the credit for their word choice.

“I'll spread my wings and
I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes
till' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness
and into the sun
But I won't forget
all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway”

It’s time to breakaway folks. I think I’ve been sitting in one attitude for far too long now, and I have to break away. My God doesn’t make junk, I know that, but…our minds have been so polluted by society. We are trained to think that if we don’t have blonde hair and blue eyes and a great tan and figure…that we aint pretty. I don’t claim to be attractive, I’m not. I’m not blonde, tanned, nor do I have blue eyes. I don’t have a good figure, but these things don’t make me ugly. My low self-esteem and low opinion of myself does that.

You will never forget where you came from, or the ones you loved…but you do have to take a few chances in life. I say this and I don’t do it. I take chances sometimes, of course who doesn’t? But, I get told off for not taking chances by my non-Christian friend when it comes to guys. I could like a guy and do nothing about, and she doesn’t understand why. Obviously I would do nothing about it if he were not a Christian….but what if he is? Then what? What reason do I have? I always tell her, I’m waiting on the Lord. Sometimes I wish I could just tell a guy that I like him, that would be so easy…but I can’t. I can’t bring myself to tell them until I’ve liked them for ages and just can’t take it anymore. Is that bad? Fear of rejection I suppose, is something that will always be there, obviously…but you will never know if you don’t take that leap of faith.

Take a few chances people, you might be pleasantly surprised by the results you achieve.

peace

girl in the singel lane

dear diary

Dear diary
Today I saw a boyAnd I wondered if he noticed me
He took my breath away

Dear diary
I can't get him off my mind
And it scares me
'Cause I've never felt this way
No one in this world
Knows me better than you do

So diary I'll confide in you

Dear diary
Today I saw a boy
As he walked by
I thought he smiled at me
And I wondered
Does he know what's in my heart

I tried to smile,
but I could hardly breathe
Should I tell him how I feel
Or would that scare him away

Diary, tell me what to do
Please tell me what to say

Dear diary
One touch of his hand
Now I can't wait to see that boy again
He smiledAnd I thought my heart could fly

Diary,
do you think that we'll be more than friends?
I've got a feeling we'll be so much more

the ball

Hey all you bloggers out there!!

This could be a long entry just to warn you all. Well last night was the ball that I had been telling you all about. What a night it was. Was I the belle of the ball? No…but someone did say they thought I looked like a princess, which I thought was very sweet. Bless her. Everybody looked amazing!! It was such a good night! The dancing was great, but people kept standing on my dress lol!! Happens all the time though. Everybody had great masks too, there were so pretty!! My darling sister was looking absolutely gorgeous, and Suzanne, the girl who invited me…was stunning!! My poor sister had a touch of sun stroke, but she tried not to let it ruin her night, which it didn’t. one thing that did kinda disappoint me a little was that they sold alcohol. I don’t grudge people drinking don’t get me wrong…I just wasn’t expecting it.

Did I find my prince? I’ll let you know. But lets just take a minute to think…how would I identify my prince? Would he be the guy who asked me to dance with him to every dance even though I kept saying no? Would he be the guy who only considers me a secret friend and won’t speak to me face to face? Would he be the guy who notices just the little chances in me and who remembers the silly things I say? Would he be the guy who saw me from across the room and couldn’t stop looking? Or would he be the guy who treated me the same at the ball as out with the ball? How am I to know? Please feel free to help me out you all, because I don’t know. But I do know this…life in the single lane, aint always easy, especially at events like a ball. You go there, knowing very few people and the few males you know, don’t ask you to dance leaving you to dance with the two girls that you came with. But if you had a boyfriend, then you would always have a partner right? I was reminded of that last night.

In the joy of the night, because believe me it was a great night, a part of me felt so lonely. I was surround by friends (well, kind of) and still felt kind of empty. Someone mentioned a seminar that he had attended about singleness I guess, and the preacher had said something like “you all go and find a wife asap” which I don’t agree with. I think sometimes people think that being single is a time for looking and seeking a partner, when actually, it aint. Going back to Eden, look at Adam. He was asleep when Eve was created, he didn’t search for her, but worked unto the Lord and sought a relationship with Him. Falling his example aint always easy trust me I know. I’ve been single now for almost one year, 4 months and it has had it’s up’s and down’s..as life does have in general. I think sometimes we feel that if we have someone, things will be ok. Like, we will never be alone, we will always have someone to talk to, to dance with, to go long walks with, to simply talk to. To comfort and be comforted by, to get a hug from when you need it most…these are all things that I feel I’m deprived of.

Shame!! You don't always get what you want though right?

peace

girl in the single lane

Belle of the ball vs the ugly step sister

Hey all you bloggers out there!

How are we all this fine day? Is this strange? A nineteen year old single Christian girl creating a blog? I didn’t think so until yesterday when a good friend made a comment that got me thinking. I am not going to stop this anytime soon, I benefit a lot from it even if no one else does. Is it too deep? I say I am very guarded and don’t let people in, and come on here and spill out my heart and soul…but the difference is…I don’t know who reads this. I don’t know who finds out how I am really feeling. And that doesn’t bother me, because if I don’t know, then they can’t judge me.

Belle of the ball me? I laughed so much when my friend said I would be belle of the ball. I’m more likely to be the ugly step sister, but that’s ok. I aint going to pretend to be something I’m not, I’m going to have a good time. Belle of the ball aint who I am…I have to say, I have deliberately not posted any pictures of me on this because I aint that pretty. I’m ok with that, I have to be, and I’ve lived with being the ugly duckling my whole life. You learn to get used to it. I have a very low self-esteem too in case you have not yet picked up on that, but I get by.

I know in these films that are out there, when the geek does her hair and make-up she actually is a really beautiful girl…but the reality is…I’m not. I’m just that little geek who is full of personality. That’s what I’m known for. My older sister got the brains and the good figure, my twin got the looks and jokes….and me…well I got personality. Go me!!

peace

girl in the single lane

singleness is a gift, not a problem

hey all!!

I was just speaking to an old friend who shared with me, that he felt being single was a problem. He realised though, that he was able to spend so much more time with God being single. How true is that? I don't grudge relationships at all, please don't misunderstand me, but a relationship requires a lot of time and committment. That is not a bad thing, obviously relationships need a lot of work put into them, that is the only way they will last. Am I right?

From my own experience, keeping a relationship from sinking, can be a never ending job. It can be so exhausting and you can feel like you are doing all the work...ever felt like that? You begin to wonder, what's the point? You are putting more into this relationship than he is, and he's the one getting more out of it. On the other hand, you could be in a wonderful relationship where everything is working out great. Both are putting what is needed into the relationship and the scales are balanced. You both get a lot out of the relationship and can see a very positive future... if that's you, I'm so happy for you...but I can't write anymore on that, because you can't write about something you have never experienced. (well I could, but I wouldn't be able to do it justice).

I think, that this type of relationhip, is the kind you should want to have with you creator. What has He put into it? He has only given you life, oxgen, a family, friends, safety, warmth...in fact He has given you everything that you own. He has given you so much love, you cannot even begin to comprehend. HE loves you to death...even death on a cross. Have you given any of that back to Him? Most of it we can't, but we can do this. We can love Him, follow Him, trust Him and worship Him. He has given us that gift. Why would you want to risk that?

But people, remember...a relationship is not the only thing that can distract you and occupy your time, thousands of other thing can...but it's all about priority.

peace

girl in the single lane