I love being single

Hey all you bloggers out there!

How are you all doing? As I grow closer to reaching the end of the book I’m currently reading, more and more comes to light. For the first time in, what seems like ages, I am actually really happy being single.

I have only ever let four guys into my heart, and every single one of them hurt…and for me, the last one hurt more than the first one. Does that seem right? Most people think when you get hurt for the first time, you never forget that pain, but in all honestly, I disagree. I have forgotten that pain and still remember the pain John left me feeling. I think it leaves me feeling annoyed too, that I could allow myself to make the same mistake twice, you know?

So, only four eh? Still more than one though isn’t it? Out of these four, how many of them still own a piece of my heart? Actually, only one, and that would be David. Why is this, I hear you asking? I think for two reasons, this is the case. He and I were close to engagement, so obviously we both put ourselves really out there. We poured our heart and souls into this relationship and for what? That was one expensive lesson. I do not have feelings for this guy anymore, but I do still care about him and pray about him. However, I have not spoken to him in almost a year and nine months, to the day (the 7th of Nov). Why you may ask? Ask away people, ask away.

However, with these other three guys, we have been able to seek forgiveness from each other and build a long lasting friendship. We have been able to overcome any barriers that could hinder a godly relationship with each other and can now call on each out for advice and support. I value all of them and their friendships. It amazes me, that after al the pain and agony I caused them, they can forgive me and still maintain a friendship with me. What a witness is that?

I’ve learned to realise that singleness is not about waiting for marriage, it’s about growing more in love with the Lord. When you grow in God, you become more like Him right? And if you think about the characteristics that you look for in you husband or wife…do they sound familiar? They should. You probably want someone who is caring, tender, sensitive, loving and who thinks you are special, am I right? Who do you know who is all of these and so much more? Yeah, you got it, He is our Father in Heaven. How amazing is that?

So, grow in God and ask Him to help you do this, and let me tell you, He will answer you. Not only that, you will love Him so much more and will not be able to stop smiling all day. When you grow more Christ-like, remember this is God preparing you for marriage. You’re looking for Prince charming, but remember Prince charming is looking for his princess too.

peace

girl in the single

make each piece count!

Hey all!

How is everybody doing? I’d like to welcome my good friend David to blogspot!!! Welcome dude…!!

I am at the end of a great book, and it has taught me a lot. I highly recommend it to anybody who is interested. It’s called “When God writes your love story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy. They describe their own story in a very personal way. each write separate chapters talking about their own struggles with singleness and waiting.

This is what I have learned, each piece of your heart, is so precious and valuable. I have said before, that every time you like someone, and open up to them, become emotional attached to them….you give them a piece of your heart. Do you get that back? Well, that’s up to you. I used to think you couldn’t ever, but my opinion has changed. This week I saw Mr Popular from my high school days, and when I saw the smile on his face as he saw me…I knew then, we are still good friends and the past will not change that. That piece of my heart that I gave to him, I got back when he smiled at me on the train.

You can do that too. Most girls have this fairy tale fantasy of being able to fall in love and give their whole heart to prince charming…and that’s a beautiful dream. Can you do that though, if you keep giving pieces of you heart away to little no-bodies? I don’t think so. It has taken me a good few years to get that part back, and now that I have it back…. I realise it’s true value!

Waiting can be hard, I know, but ask God to help you focus on Him during this lonely time of singleness. And He will, trust me! If you feel that you can, try and give your whole heart to God. That means getting back what you have given out. How do you get it back? It’s all in forgiveness… and it has to be two way, but it can happen, through God’s amazing grace!

peace

girl in the single lane

Married women vs Single women?

Ever feel like you don’t belong in a conversation? This is not a war between married women and single women…although it may seem that way. What am I talking about? Let me fill you in. Sometimes, I’m sure most single people have experienced this, you can be out amongst friends when those who are married lead the conversation. In doing this, they talk about married life and how exciting and fun it can be. This can do two things: it can make you think about what you have to look forward to, or it can make you feel isolated.

This happened to me recently, which is why I’m writing this. I don’t think married people deliberately push the conversation into marriage talk, which in turn, pushes single people out. As least I hope they don’t. In fact, I think it’s important that married women share stories with each other, as shared advice can educate a newly wed. Single women should share stories too for reassurance that they are all in the same boat seeking the same thing: God’s perfect husband for us.

Can married women and single women talk together? Well…I don’t know the answer to that question, because in my experience, married people tend to lead the discussions or couple activities. By this I mean activities where married women team up with their husbands, and the single women, are paired off with anyone else. When there is a group of married women, and you’re the only single women, my advice…leave the room! You will only feel really small and excluded from the conversation, and no-body should be made to feel this way.

I don’t know all the answers, but this I do know. Single women struggle, particularly as they get older, with the concept of singleness and begin to doubt if they will ever get married. People talking about the joys of married life around them, does not make this nay easier at all. Married people, consider the feelings of those single around you.

peace

girl in the single lane

when there was me and you

hey all!
It's me again, just checking in! I recently watched High School Musical, which is a great film by the way and I highly recommend it. There was this (see below for the lyric) and as I heard the words, it made me think about John (I think that's what I called him on this) and how stupid I was. But know, I've seen the light!


It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there

Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care


I thought you were my fairytale
My dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings
With the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along

But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song


Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true

Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings
With the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling and I didn't mind
Because I liked the view Ooooh hoo hoo........
I thought you felt it too
When there was me and you


When you meet your husband, when God shows you him...it will be like a fairytale, like a wish upon a star really has come true. He will bless you so much with the perfect love story, if you give Him the pen!!!

peace

girl in the single lane

Who is writing your love story?

hey y’all (teeheehee)

I am currently reading “When God writes your love story” by the Ludy’s and what an amazing book. It’s a real wake-up call. As I read their stories about their past relationships that they regret, I am reminded of my own. Their book has got me thinking a lot about who is actually in charge of my love life. Am I writing what I want to happen?

Well, I think I have been and things need to change. God is the author of life, why would I think He could not write my fairytale love story? I look at my mistakes and I blame myself. I never blame God for allowing me to make my own mistakes, He gave me my free will to make these mistakes. And thankfully, I’ve learned from them. When I met someone I liked, I think I tried to fit God into the love story I wanted without a second though as to what He wanted for my life. How selfish is that? I mean come on, His plan is perfect. Who would not want that?

People think that love stories were designed my Hollywood and are there to make up hope and dream of something we think we will never achieve. Well folks, I’m afraid to break it to you, Hollywood did not invent romantic love stories, the creator of the universe did. He created us with the desire to have a perfect fairytale love story. Not only that, He created a love story for us all, unique to you and to me. But you have to be willing to give Him the pen, let Him write your love story.

Give it all to Him. This is not necessarily the easiest thing to do, but I believe (from reading through many people’s stories about how God wrote their love story) that is will be worth it. However, with that in mind, please don’t think that if you give God the pen to your love story, that He will bring your husband/wife into your life as soon as you say Amen. God’s timing is perfect, and if you are truly willing to let Him write your love story, appreciate that it may take time. God has to make you ready to meet your husband of wife, so be patient. It’ll be worth the wait.

peace

girl in the single lane