Wait for me

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peace

girl in the single lane

If tomorrow never comes

Hey bloggers

How are you all doing? Well, I am sure you can guess what this entry will be about. Yeh…you got it…If tomorrow never comes. We can thank Ronan Keeting for realising this song, and bringing our attention to that harsh reality that is: not knowing when you’re all out of chances; when you run out of time…

Ever felt like that? Story time, “Coz I’ve lost love once in my life”…well not exactly love, but a really cute guy! Yep you know that one…my high school crush. When it comes to “talking about feelings” I have learned that guys don’t do well in this topic of conversation. In fact, they fear it. They think that talking about “feelings” is weak, when actually it takes a really strong guy to open up his heart and share his feelings with someone. So girls…if it has happened to you, feel privileged, it doesn’t happen often…in my experience anyway.

Let’s skip straight to the song eh?

Sometimes late at night, I lie awake and watch her sleeping.
She lies in peaceful dreams, so I turn out the lights, and lie there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind, if I never wake in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel about her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Would she know who much I love her
Did I try in everywhere to show her everyday that she my only one
If my time of earth were through, she must face this work without me,
Is the love I gave her in the past, going to be enough to last if tomorrow never comes

Coz I’ve lost love once in my life, who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret that my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself, say each day how much she means to me, avoid that circumstance, where there’s no second chance, to tell how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Would she know who much I love her
Did I try in everywhere to show her everyday that she my only one
If my time of earth were through, she must face this work without me, is the love I gave her in the past, going to be enough to last if tomorrow never comes


Well…some powerful words in there right? I often look back on my life, all 20 years of it, and think about the guys that I have liked. I consider how many of them I have actually opened up to, and confessed my true feelings for. The figures are surprisingly low. So here lies the question, should you always tell someone you have feelings for them? In my experience, it does not always end on a high. Don’t get me wrong, I have told people that I have feelings for them, when I have. And the results…not always as hurtful as some expect. Since my last boyfriend, I have developed a guard. I don’t often let it down, but I have once. Why did I tell him? What was he so special, I hear you ask. Well let me tell about him.

I think I have written about him before, I’m pretty sure I have. There was an attraction at first sight…the first time I saw him before evening talking to him, or being introduced to him. I can’t describe it, it was like…I was overwhelmed with butterflies about meeting him, and him only. In a room full of strangers, he was the only one who spoke to me. There was something in his voice that I will never forget. His kindness led to another meeting some two months later. His friends were invited to my family home, and he came along too. When he shared with me, his long-term plans in life, I was speechless. They matched mine, as a child. Following this we developed a friendship, and a good one at that. It was one based on Christian values, trust and respect. One late night, I was sitting at my computer chatting to a few people on MSN…he being one of them. He spoke about a girl he liked. You know the rest…this in a previous entry “Ever wanted what you can’t have?”

In a nutshell, the reason I told him how I felt about him, is because he confessed to liking me, and I believed it could have gone somewhere, I thought I saw a future there. I thought he’d be the last person I’d ever have to share things like this with; thought I’d give me heart to no other…little did I know what lay around the corner.

Anyway the point is, he knew how I felt about him, and for a while things were fine between us. We never dated, that I must emphasis, we sought the Lord and waited. In time we realised this was not what God wanted for us…sometimes not so easy to accept. There is one person that you should remind how much you love them. Not your girlfriend/boyfriend, mum/dad, brother/sister…God, your Creator, He who gave you life…

How often do we tell Him how much we love Him? Probably not enough…make an effort to tell Him how much He means to us. And of course, tell you partner, parents, family and friends, how much you love them too….that too is important.

Peace

Girl in the single lane

If I was invisible…wait I already am.

Hey bloggers!

Ever felt like you are invisible? Allow me to set the scene, straight out of a Hollywood film. Boy meets girl…girl likes boy. Boy likes someone else, or is dating someone else. In a nutshell, that doesn’t sound too romantic now does it? Let me glam it up a bit.

I met this guy through a friend. We became good secret friends. We texted, and emailed, we got to know each other. We laughed together, and found out we have common interests. He has a way with words that lifts me up when I’m down. He encourages me to be all that I can be, and to fight for what I want. Guess he didn’t realise that meant him. When we are in a room together, but not talking to each other, for no particular reason, we shared something else. We just spend time looking at each other from a small distance.

Every time I was in the same room as him, I got butterflies. When he texts me, it takes a while for my smile, (the size of the grand canyon) to be removed from my face. He made me happy, although we were only ever just friends. I finally built up the courage to tell him how I feel, when I discover he’s dating someone else. Bummer!

Ever happened to you? You ask yourself, could he be more blind? You think to yourself that you could not have made it anymore obvious that you liked him, but he just didn’t see.

What you doing tonight, I wish I could be a fly on your wall.
Are you ready alone, still in your dreams, why can’t I breathe you in to my life?
What would it take to make you see that I’m alive?

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I’d make you mine tonight

If hearts we unbreakable,
Then I could tell where I stand
I would be the smallest man

If I was invisible…
Wait, I already am.

Saw your face in the crowd I call out your name you don’t hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps, each move that you make
I wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colours of you life

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I’d make you mine tonight

If hearts we unbreakable,
Then I could tell where I stand
I would be the smallest man

If I was invisible…
Wait, I already am.

I am nothing without you, just a shadow passing through…

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I’d make you mine tonight

If hearts we unbreakable,
Then I could tell where I stand
I would be the smallest man

If I was invisible, If I was invisible , If I was invisible …
Wait, I already am.


Thank you D-Side for that. Is that true for you? It is for me. I can’t sit here and tell you what to do, because I’m in this situation, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve decided to do nothing. Does he deserve to know? I guess, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell him. I can’t to that to him, or to his girlfriend, that’s not right, nor is it fair to anyone, is it??

Being invisible isn’t always a bad thing, trust me. As the class geek, I was invisible to the male species, unless they needed help with a math equation. Maths was my favourite subject and I excelled in it. But when you do see these guys for what they are, sometimes you’re glad to be invisible to them.

You make yourself invisible or visible. That’s up to you. You can hide away in a corner, and live a sheltered life, or you can make yourself known, and speak up a little. Let people know who you are, let your personality come out…be yourself!!! Don’t ever change for someone, change only for yourself.

peace

girl in the single lane

Once upon a time

Once upon a time, there was a girl who went on holiday with her family. While on holiday, she was reunited with the boyfriend: previously arranged of course. Reunited for the first time in a year, no affection was visible. To the outsider, they were just friends, but to Alison and Andrew, they were more than that. Andrew, being athletic, participated in most sporting events, where Alison, less athletic, did not. This often left Alison alone to gather her thoughts, and write poetry, which she often did.

Alison, a school girl, anxiously waited for the dreaded exam results, as she required only one pass for University. She had a circle of friends here, by the time her results came through. Andrew had introduced her to Paul: an older guy, who always carried his bible under his arm. Through general conversation, Alison had shared with stranger, Paul, that she was awaiting fate in the form of exam results.

One sunny summers day was about to end in tears for poor Alison. She discovers that she has failed her exam, and feels herself at a loss. Alison’s saddened parents, comfort her, as she cries into her lap. They leave the room, to allow Alison to be comforted by Andrew. Alison longed for a hug of comfort…but what did she get? A sympathetic eye and a cold shoulder. No hug, no feeling of warmth or comfort…nothing!

Alison carried on as normal, but dreaded Paul asking how she scored on her exam. Evening came, and Alison’s eyes were finally dry, and no longer puffy or red. Paul walked over to her with high anticipation. “How did you do?” he asks, eager to here that she was successful. Upon finding out, she had not been successful, he offers his apologises, and tells her, he’ll pray for her.

Let examine the difference here. Long-term partner of Alison, offered nothing but a cold shoulder, whereas this complete stranger offers his prayers and apologises. There’s more to come.

The next day, not much had changed by way of how Alison was feeling. She did realise that this was part of God’s plan, but was unaware why. A day packed with mixed emotions, came to a slow end, with a night of ten pin bowling. Just before Alison left, Paul called her over. After not seeing Paul all day, she was keen to see how he was doing. She walks over to see him. “I was praying for you last night and today”. Isn’t that one of the nicest things to hear ever? To hear someone say that they prayed for you, is the most beautiful gift there is. He had written down a few bible versus for Alison, so she writes them down on a piece of scrap paper that he has. She also keys them into her phone for quickness, as she is being rushed by her friends who are keen to leave for bowling. Alison, touched that Paul prayed for her, leaves with a smile on her face, and arranges to meet Paul the following day.

The evening ended, and morning came. After breakfast, Alison and Andrew went for a walk to talk about things. Alison receives a phone call from her sister, telling her that she has been offered a place at summer school, after which she could go to University, if she passes. Excited Alison wants to share the news with Paul. Andrew and the boys, go and play a came of football, leaving Alison sitting on the grass at the side. Paul walks over to keep Alison company. She shares the good news, to wish he replies to with “that’s an answer to prayer”. The time they shared together will remain in Alison’s mind as a beautiful memory.

Football finishes, and a few of the gang play a game on the grass. Paul and Alison exchange flirty jokes to each other, but no-one picks up on this. Paul and Alison spend a lot of time together for the remaining few days. They form a strong friendship which was founded on God’s greatness.

Hours before Alison leaves, she waits patiently, searching for Paul to come and say goodbye to her. He didn’t come. He disappeared into thin air, never to be seen again. Both go their separate ways, unable to contact each other. Andrew and Alison break up shortly after, and Alison tries to find a way to find Paul. She fails. She prays for him everynight…for a year and a half, praying that he would be kept safe. She still prays for him, just not as often as she once did. She sits and wonders how he is doing, if he’s married or single, if he’s still walking with God…wondering if he still lives. Alison remembers him when she is reminded that her husband while carry a bible under his arm everywhere he goes. She has only met two guys who fit this description, Paul, and on other, who is now in a relationship.

The hope for tomorrow hangs in the air. Alison carries with her in her purse, those bible versus he shared with her, along with a photo of him. Is he the man she will marry someday? Will fate bring them back together? Alison hands this over to God and waits patiently to find out what He has is store for her.

Faith brought us together
Destiny took us apart
We will always be together
If we only follow our heart.

peace

girl in the single lane