single and waiting

Life in the single lane, is something most people experience at some point in their life. This is just my personal experience, that I thought I'd share with you all. Isaiah 40:31 "Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weak"

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Enchanted - ever ever after

A fairytale like fantasy film, where true love falls at your doorstep. Allow me to set the scene. You meet this guy somewhere random, and you always seem to see him again in more random places. You get to know this person, and find out you have common interests, and get along great. Every time you are around this person…you feel an awkward tension between you both, but you don’t let this get the better of you. You get butterflies every time you talk to that person, and like everything about them. When you are in the same room as this person, although you try not to make it obvious, you can’t stop looking at him, secretly hoping he is looking back. You pray for him everyday, and would do anything to protect him. True love??

Not at all. The reality is, the feelings, and tension, and awkwardness, is all fairytale fantasy. It’s make-belief. Disney and many others, would have you believe that, if you feel all this for one person, then that’s your true love. I think for all you single people out there, there is a sense in which we want to believe it…and many sadly do.

To my ex, I know you’ll never read this, but three years ago, I felt all of these things for you. I thought without a doubt, we were meant to be together. I know you felt it too. I know back then, we couldn’t have imagined life without each other. (Look at us now) I know when you whispered in my ear “I love you” you meant it with all of your heart. I heard your passion, when we talked about our wedding, and felt the love you had for me, every time we touched. What this was, I can not explain. But here’s what I can, it felt real at the time, and I would not have traded it in for anything. It felt like a God-given love between two people that was unbreakable. But almost exactly three years later, I view things slightly differently. You’re engaged to someone else, and I’m plodding along in the single lane…but I’m doing great here.

Life is full of surprises, and although sometimes we wish and hope that “true love” is something that actually exists, when you have been hurt as many times as I have, the concept is difficult to accept. I’m not saying whether “true love” exists or not, what I’m saying is, I’m not sure if I believe in it anymore.

Peace

Girl in the single lane




Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Since you've been gone



Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah
Since you've been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone

peace

girl in the single lane

Behind these hazel eyes


Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

peace

girl in the single lane

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Walk away from your past

Dear my past

So, I let you go three years ago, maybe it’s time you let me go. Year after year you try and contact me again, why?? Do you have unfinished business? Is there something you are trying to tell me?

We tried the whole “let’s just be friends” thing and it didn’t work. Don’t you remember? Our paths cross many years ago, and to be honest, there is no reason why they should cross again, so stop trying to make them cross. I’m not interested. I could sit here and spend hours writing about the pain you caused me, but what would that achieve?

It was too painful the first time we tried to be friends, so a year past without a second thought. You got back in touch and yeh…we thought it could have been ok…but then you accused me of having feelings for you again! Are you serious?? If this happens every time you get in touch…a friendship here will never be possible.

You are my past, and I left you behind me all those years ago. I can do nothing beneficial for you right now, and therefore see no reason why I should be part of your life. So let me go!!

I can appreciate that letting go of something, or someone can be very hard, especially someone you were emotionally attached to. But three years have past now, will little communication made between us, do you think you could now let this go??

You are probably now a very happily engaged man, and if you are, congratulations, I am happy for you. But please don’t feel sorry for me, because I am still single, for it is by choice that I am. I don’t want to settle for anything less that what God has in store for me, and neither should you.

Walk away from me now, and get on with life. Life as you know I, will change when you let go of your past.


peace

girl in the single lane