Boxing up the past!
hey bloggers!
I spent 8 hours today, cleaning out my bedroom. I know 8 hours is a long time right? Well, I stumbled across a few unexpected items which opened the flood gate to old memories. I have been hurt so many times by guys, as you know, but I have to say, only two, have cut me deep. These are the two people, who a spent a lot of today thinking about. As I case across old letters, pictures and stuffed teddies from these two guys, I was tearful. I thought with David (his name for the purpose of this blog only) I have boxed up everything he ever gave me, I mean it was so long ago. I have to say, I didn’t find much, but what I did find, took me back. Took me back, thinking about the relationship that we shared, the fact that we were almost engaged, how close I was to his sister and cousin…and I look to my life right now. None of them are in my life anymore.
With this other person who hurt be recently…we should name him…how about John? That’ll work. As the betrayal was so recent, I didn’t yet, have the chance to collect everything he ever bought me, and store it away in a box. With all his stuff, I boxed everything that would make me think of him. This included everything I received at a camp I once attended, birthday cards from people at camp…and lastly, the card his mother wrote for me.
I have found myself in a habit now, of boxing up things from my past, from guys, to holidays, churches and of course, high school. I have so many boxes just full of memories, some great, some good and some not so good. But you cannot change the past, or ever think about denying its existence. The past makes you who you are today. Your values stem from your mistakes, your personality develops as you mature, you happiest memories, encourage you when you’re down. I would not be the person I am, without all of these people I have just mentioned. David thought me a lot about myself, John…I learned a lot from him too, and because of him, my guard is back up. Camp…well I learned a lot there too, I enjoyed my time there don’t get me wrong, but sometimes a difference of opinion can end friendships. Note to self…never let that happen again. Every church I’ve been too teaches my something different about God’s amazing personality, and my high school showed me what a great God I have with the friends He blessed me with.
You can box up your past literally like I do, or just box off that part of your heart and mind…especially if there’s pain involved. Put your pain in a box, and forget about it…sometimes it’s good to keep the box though. This way, you can open it years down the line, and look at what you over came.
peace
girl in the single lane
I spent 8 hours today, cleaning out my bedroom. I know 8 hours is a long time right? Well, I stumbled across a few unexpected items which opened the flood gate to old memories. I have been hurt so many times by guys, as you know, but I have to say, only two, have cut me deep. These are the two people, who a spent a lot of today thinking about. As I case across old letters, pictures and stuffed teddies from these two guys, I was tearful. I thought with David (his name for the purpose of this blog only) I have boxed up everything he ever gave me, I mean it was so long ago. I have to say, I didn’t find much, but what I did find, took me back. Took me back, thinking about the relationship that we shared, the fact that we were almost engaged, how close I was to his sister and cousin…and I look to my life right now. None of them are in my life anymore.
With this other person who hurt be recently…we should name him…how about John? That’ll work. As the betrayal was so recent, I didn’t yet, have the chance to collect everything he ever bought me, and store it away in a box. With all his stuff, I boxed everything that would make me think of him. This included everything I received at a camp I once attended, birthday cards from people at camp…and lastly, the card his mother wrote for me.
I have found myself in a habit now, of boxing up things from my past, from guys, to holidays, churches and of course, high school. I have so many boxes just full of memories, some great, some good and some not so good. But you cannot change the past, or ever think about denying its existence. The past makes you who you are today. Your values stem from your mistakes, your personality develops as you mature, you happiest memories, encourage you when you’re down. I would not be the person I am, without all of these people I have just mentioned. David thought me a lot about myself, John…I learned a lot from him too, and because of him, my guard is back up. Camp…well I learned a lot there too, I enjoyed my time there don’t get me wrong, but sometimes a difference of opinion can end friendships. Note to self…never let that happen again. Every church I’ve been too teaches my something different about God’s amazing personality, and my high school showed me what a great God I have with the friends He blessed me with.
You can box up your past literally like I do, or just box off that part of your heart and mind…especially if there’s pain involved. Put your pain in a box, and forget about it…sometimes it’s good to keep the box though. This way, you can open it years down the line, and look at what you over came.
peace
girl in the single lane
posted by single and waiting @ 9:23 PM
1 Comments:
At 5:34 PM,
Portrait of Peter said…
I luv your title "Boxing up the past".
The right tonic - therapy - call it what you will - but by starting the process is God now showing you - it is time to move on?
Yet the past has an importance - for we have the evidence of correspondence, photo's music tapes etc etc - yes the past has significance for we learn from our past - that is what is a part of our lives that we have to accept - the same that Jesus was to learn and accept the past in the process of moving on to the direction that God had chosen for him.
The past can indeed have hurt, upset and yes embarrassment. But it still remains the past and whilst we may ponder and reflect upon the evidence in our hands - we should accept that it is now a memory - as all things are of the past.
God Bless You for an honest and moving portrayal of your life.
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