Relationships lead to...
hey bloggers!!
Why do two people get together? Is it because they like each other? Can’t take their eyes off each other? Like being in each other’s company? Like each other’s personality?
These are all fair game, except from “can’t take my eyes off you”. That is what we call, being with someone based on physical attraction. Will that actually last? Unlikely. When two people get together, do they actually consider the possibilities for their future? You know where I stand on this; I do not need to go into this over and over again. My view is, with the intent of marriage.
So, a few tips then when entering into a relationship, with the possibility of marriage in the future.
Are they a Christian? Not only do they have to believe in Christ, but a whole load of thing with that. Sadly Christianity is one of the most diverse religions out there…and too often; people get together on the basis of one saying “I’m a Christian”. But I believe that you can be unevenly yoked with believers, as well as un-believers.
Why do you like them? Is it purely physical? If it is, then ask yourself, what would happen, if their physical appearance changed? Beauty lies within, according to Captivating. Get to know them.
How much do you really know about this person? Have you met their family? These things are to be taken seriously, especially if you are taking the relationship seriously. When you do meet their parents, watch how they interact with them. You know the old saying “the way a woman treats her father, is how she will treat her husband” and the same lies for men. The way they treat their mother, is the way they’ll treat their wife. That can be exciting to see, but it can also be off putting.
Do you really know them? Spend time getting to know them as friends first…then really good friends…and things will progress from there. The longer the friendship is, the more of that person, you really see. When you have only known them, a short time, you will only see what they want you to see. Take it from someone who knows…looks can be deceiving.
What do you want from this relationship? Are you both agreed on the intentions of this relationship? What is the point of this relationship if none of you have given marriage second thought??
Just a few tips from me to you. But at the end of the day, do what you will. Life is not all about marriage, but marriage can be a part of your life…so think wisely before entering into it. Pray whole-heartedly that before entering into a relationship, and seek God. He will give you a clear path to walk down, if you ask Him to show you.
peace
girl in the single lane
Why do two people get together? Is it because they like each other? Can’t take their eyes off each other? Like being in each other’s company? Like each other’s personality?
These are all fair game, except from “can’t take my eyes off you”. That is what we call, being with someone based on physical attraction. Will that actually last? Unlikely. When two people get together, do they actually consider the possibilities for their future? You know where I stand on this; I do not need to go into this over and over again. My view is, with the intent of marriage.
So, a few tips then when entering into a relationship, with the possibility of marriage in the future.
Are they a Christian? Not only do they have to believe in Christ, but a whole load of thing with that. Sadly Christianity is one of the most diverse religions out there…and too often; people get together on the basis of one saying “I’m a Christian”. But I believe that you can be unevenly yoked with believers, as well as un-believers.
Why do you like them? Is it purely physical? If it is, then ask yourself, what would happen, if their physical appearance changed? Beauty lies within, according to Captivating. Get to know them.
How much do you really know about this person? Have you met their family? These things are to be taken seriously, especially if you are taking the relationship seriously. When you do meet their parents, watch how they interact with them. You know the old saying “the way a woman treats her father, is how she will treat her husband” and the same lies for men. The way they treat their mother, is the way they’ll treat their wife. That can be exciting to see, but it can also be off putting.
Do you really know them? Spend time getting to know them as friends first…then really good friends…and things will progress from there. The longer the friendship is, the more of that person, you really see. When you have only known them, a short time, you will only see what they want you to see. Take it from someone who knows…looks can be deceiving.
What do you want from this relationship? Are you both agreed on the intentions of this relationship? What is the point of this relationship if none of you have given marriage second thought??
Just a few tips from me to you. But at the end of the day, do what you will. Life is not all about marriage, but marriage can be a part of your life…so think wisely before entering into it. Pray whole-heartedly that before entering into a relationship, and seek God. He will give you a clear path to walk down, if you ask Him to show you.
peace
girl in the single lane
posted by single and waiting @ 1:10 PM
14 Comments:
At 1:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sorry but I dont agree at all with the bit about how a person treats their mother/father is how they'll treat their wife/husband. Its two completely different ball games. The relationship you have with the person you're married to is very different to the one you have with your parents. I dont think how a person treats their parents is relevant at all to their own relationship. Also, the bit bout not being able to take your eyes off someone isnt necessarily physical attraction. Its not a bad thing to be attracted to someone physically anyway. The more you fall for someone the more you see their personality shining through in the way they act, the way they talk, the way they interact with others, the way they smile and that is why I think its hard to keep your eyes off someone you love - cause you can see the things you love bout them and you dont wanna stop looking!
At 4:49 PM,
single and waiting said…
ok wow...
A person's relationship with their parents is completely relevant, even though they are both different relationships...
wow...I actually can't believe you said that. I'm not saying physical attraction is wrong, you must have misread what I said. I said if that is the only basis for the relationship then, that's not so great. Plus you should get to know someone first, get to know their shinning personality and they will become so beautiful physically.
Not being able to take your eyes off someone os not a bad thing either, again...But it could be purely physical...
Not everybody gets to know someone realy well first, before entering into a relationship, but infact just date because of the physical attraction. In fact in some cases, people can't stop looking at another because of the way they look...how are we to know??
peace
girl in the single lane
At 5:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
I still dont think the parents thing is true. If my potential husband didnt get along with his mum I wouldnt be worried about my relationship with him. Nor have I ever treated a guy I liked the way I treat my dad and I know my brothers dont treat girls the way they treat my mum.
At 5:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
ps I think you should maybe make it clearer that you mean "cant keep your eyes off each other" in a physical sense. I know you said that means physical attraction but the phrase "cant keep your eyes off each other" might be interpreted as having 2 different meanings depending on the person reading it. Like I said you might not be able to take your eyes off each other cos you see whats underneath the surface. But other people might realise its the physical aspect you mean. Perhaps a different way of wording it would be better? Just some constructive criticism my dear :) Oh and to any1 reading this I totally agree that getting together with someone cos they look good is very very wrong
At 6:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
If an individual is disrespectful to their mother and father then that gives cause for concern because it is right to honor your mother and father but some people don't have a great realtionship with their parents because for a whole number or reason. Perhaps a father walked out on his children, or a mother hit her child while growing up, perhaps their parents just didn't really love their childern and would rather spend their time at the pub or in front of the TV rather than with the kids.... surely because these people don't have nice fluffy family circle with good relations doesn't mean that they will treat their partners in the same way....
as for the not being able to take your eyes off one and other i agree with "jenny" in that the more you get to know a person the more their inner beauty shines through and that is what makes it difficult to take their eyes off of that person... its like they can't believe that they have been so blessed to have that individual in their life.
At 12:23 AM,
Anonymous said…
About what you said concerning partners (or potential partners) and how "christian" they are: I have been with Christians who have turned out to be the most unholy people, and with non-Christians who have turned out to be the most Christian-like, even if they dont see it themselves.
The point is that sometimes you can see in people what they themselves cant see. Follow your heart, and what God is telling you. Sometimes that might go against what you thought, like dating a non-Christian. But remember that this isnt the end of the line for this non-Christian, you might just be what they need, and vice versa!
In love xx
At 10:27 PM,
single and waiting said…
well actually...if you date an non-Christian, with the thought of marriage at the end of it, then you are going against God's commandment. He says, "do not let yourselves be unevenly yoked with unbelievers".
So, yes, follow your heart and what God is telling you...but what God is telling you, should come first.
peace
girl in the single lane
At 2:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
I find it very difficult to accept you're interpretation of that verse of the bible, when I know personally that God is telling me that dating a non-Christian is what I should be doing, and that he's the only one for me. Im not saying it's what everybody should do, just what He's telling me to do.
xx
At 3:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
Something a friend once told me:
"God may want this person to emark on this journey with this other person...No one knows and thats really the point I'm trying to make. Who are we to say yes or no? No one. What if this was God's way of challenging...not only faith but trust? I'm not saying do what feels right...because feeling right and what actually is right could be two different things. Just do what your heart says to do. The Holy Spirit is in you...let him guide you and if he guides you to this person than let it happen. No one understands how God works...so assuming isn't always the best thing to do. Trust the Lord and he will get you through ANYTHING you are faced with....whether its dealing with relationships...or taking a new job....whatever it may be just love the Lord and trust him with all your heart. You can never go wrong that way. It might hurt...but when He is in charge of your life...nothing wrong will ever happen...it will always be the right thing in the end."
xx
At 3:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
I have to disagree with the comment that God is telling you to date a non christian... now you are correct that i do not know what God is telling you, but i do know that He is not in a habit of contradicting himself. The bible instructs us not to become unequally yolked with unbelievers... i believe this to be pariculary true for relationships and also to a certain extent is buisness. God tells us this for our own good, because in many cases such relationships result in the believer being pulled down rather than the non believer being lifted up.
Admitidly i also know of cases where individuals have come to faith through their believing significant others. In these cases i believe the Lord has been gracious, and while it was not his perfect plan he has allowed it to happen and has recalulated a new modified plan. If you are dating a non christian you are not living out the perfect plan rather a permisible plan.
I know you maintain that God has told you to be with this person but i'd challenge you to think seriously about what you are claiming. I know that there are many men in the world who are beter natured and more "chirstian" in their actions and attitudes than many church going men and may seem like a better match for you, God would not want a person to become romantically involved with somone who was not a child of his, and i struggle to understand why you would want to marry someone who wasn't going to get to spend eternity with you. I don't begin to imagine how difficult a situation this is for you, its hard when you like someone alot particularly if your experience with chirstian guys has not been a good one but that does not justify going against Gods word. I hope you don't see this as a personal attack as it is not meant to be. Like i said i know how difficult it is when you really like someone even if you know deep down that it is not pleasing to God and it is so hard to break those emotional ties but i challenge you to really seek the Lord and ensure that you really are living in his will. I know you say seek the Lord and his Holy Spirit will direct you, and that is absolutely right but you also need to be able to discern what is the Holy Sprit, what is a false spirit and what is merely our own desire.... there are plenty of people out there who are geninely seeking the Holy Spirit but are finding something eles instead but don't realise that it is not genuine because it "feels" right...
Be careful...
At 1:36 AM,
Anonymous said…
A previous poster "I find it very difficult to accept you're interpretation of that verse of the bible" The thing with the Bible is that there are things within them that we will not find easy to accept, but that does not make them wrong.
In the Bible over and over again I read and see God saying that as Christians we are to be "in the world but not of it", Paul in his letter to the Christians at Corinth says "Do not be yoked together with unbelivers".
That is pretty convincing to me.
Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
"I'll live in them, move into them; I'll be their God and they'll be my people. So leave the corruption and compromise; leave it for good," says God. "Don't link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I'll be a Father to you; you'll be sons and daughters to me." The Word of the Master, God.
2 Cor 6:14-18 (MSG)
We are called to be Holy, and to be Holy is to be 'set apart'.
God is amazing, and in His grace He often turns our mistakes into opportunities to bring glory to Himself, and that is what we are for To glorify God and enjoy him forever.
God will never contradict Himself, His word should be the guiding factor in all things. Our hearts can not be trusted, why....? because we are still creatures living with the effects of sin, and creatures who sin.
The Holy Spirit the Bible says will guide us into all truth but that truth is the truth of God's word.
Really the question is, is dating a non-Christian bringing glory to God or not???
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? and in 1 John 1:5 John says God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all.
I have probably raised more questions than I could have asked with this post, and if you would like to ask me anything then please do, I am aware of the difficulty and complexity in this issue and also the limited space that we have here to discuss this
At 12:40 AM,
Anonymous said…
I can see what you're saying here, believe me, I would be saying the same thing in your situation. I know what the bible says. I know what it means. I even teach young people the very same message you are trying to teach me now. All I am saying is, we shouldnt be so quick to shoot down people for doing what they think is right. I agree with most of what you have argued. Yes, it is a very difficult situation. Yes, it is very difficult to imagine eternity without the people I love. Yes, I struggle with it.
But I have spent many hours asking God for His guidance, praying for His way to be shown.
I know what you are all saying. But personally, Im not going to go purely on what you are saying.
I put my trust in God, and God alone
xx
At 2:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
God is gracious and sometimes He allows us to enter into things that the bible tells us not to do, but despite our straying from His word He can still bless us. That may be what He has done in your case.
I would just warn you to be careful when you start making comments like "I know personally that God is telling me that dating a non-Christian is what I should be doing, and that he's the only one for me."
I struggle to understand why God would tell you to do that, but you are right i don't your situation. I am not asking you to go on what i say, as what do i know - nothing much about anything!! But i am suggesting that what is written in the inspired word of God conradicts the situation you are in.
I am not going to lecture to you anymore as i don't think that's what you need. I imagine that you have come accross much opposition to this relationship already, and you have conceeded yourself you agree with most of what is written above so you know where i'm coming from. Perhaps it is easy for me as i am in a loving relationship with a Godly man, but i have been in an unhealthy relationship before and i know what it can do to you... relationships are hard enough with other people who are like minded in faith let alone whose who don't know Him. Being a Christian defines you, it is the biggest part of who you are, you should love Jesus more than anyone, parents, childern, spouses etc... and the only people who can fully understand that and connect with you on that level are other Christians.
There i go again.... sorry i said no more lectures... you have to make up your own mind.
If you contiune on in this relationship, i have to ask how wise it is for you to teach the younger ones in the church about relationships. Not because i think for one minute that you would ever encourage them to enter in to a relationship with a non-believer!! On the contrary i think that as you know how difficult it is you would seriously discourage such behaviour, but how can the children trust anything you say if you yourself do not abide by what the bible says.
I hope this has not come accross and a vicious attack on you, i say all of these things in love and a member of the body of Christ, because when one member suffers the whole body suffers.
I truly hope you find the answers you are searching for.
At 5:25 PM,
Portrait of Peter said…
"Relationships lead to..." is quite an apt title and given the feedback - would justify without question both the content of this piece along with the title.
Debate can often lead into turmoil if it not grasped - as indeed a relationship often can!!
The relationships with our parents - we often wish to emulate with our prospective partner.
The loving and protective relationship we had as a child - we again wish to focus on our own children.
Your piece has indeed raised issues - perhaps that was your intention? Emotive comments can sometimes be blinkered - without thinking of the lasting consequences.
Christian achievement from childhood through into marriage - is understandable and your portrayal is meant with sincerity and openness - which is to be commended.
A very focussed piece in which 'meaning of life' may be worthy of.
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