When you like someone

Hey bloggers!

How y’all doing? What do you do when you like someone…well actually I’m not sure what you do. As I find myself in this situation, I really don’t know what to do. I thought about telling him, but really, there is no point. As I mentioned before, he doesn’t even know I exist and I don’t really like that makes a good foundation for any kind of relationship, do you?

He is the guy I have written about before…in case you are just tuning in let me fill you in briefly. This guy is someone who I was starting to become friends with, until one day, things took a 180 degree turn. Reasons for why this happened, I’m still unsure about. Although he and I rarely spoke face to face, we communicated in other ways, and when we were face to face, we acknowledged each other, with a constant stare. He is a Christian, which is so important, and from what I know if him, he’s a nice guy.

It’s funny I watched Pride and Prejudice last night…the BBC version. What I share with this person is similar to that of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy, with two big differences. In the movie, they get their happy ending, and I never hated this guy, the way Elizabeth hated Mr Darcy. I feel like, if I told him how I felt, I would be shot down and attacked, the way Mr Darcy was when he first confessed his feelings for Elizabeth Bennett. I’m not strong enough for that kind of rejection.

Now, he doesn’t even know I exist, bummer eh? Well, maybe not. It feels like he only talks to me in public now, because he has something to prove to the other people who are around us. It’s as if, he’s showing all these people, how nice and friendly he is to new people. So why do I like him, I hear you ask? I don’t really know. I guess I remember how this friendship began, and it began well. I could wait a lifetime for that nice guy to repossess his body. This new person who looks like this guy I once knew, is so different I don’t even know him. However, He encourages me in my walk with Christ, and not many people go out of their way to do that for me. The funny thing is I don’t think he intentionally set out to encourage me with his honesty, but he did.

Every time we are in the same room, even still, I can feel him looking at me. He often catches me looking back. When he does, I wonder what he is thinking. Probably something like “why does that eejit keep looking at me?”. I guess, I will never know, because I will never ask him, and I will never ask him why he keeps looking at me. A lifetime of wondering “what if?” is probable here? Not a lifetime, just a little while, but it will pass, as he walks out of my life permanently.

Try not live a life of “what if’s”. If you fear you might then ask all the questions you need to, to prevent that from happening. Living life, wondering “what if?” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Take it someone who knows, it only confuses you and drives you crazy. Wondering “what if?” completely takes over your mind, and you can struggle to think about anything else, or focus on anything productive. Try and avoid this at all costs. I say this to help you, trust me.

peace

girl in the single lane