Captivating

hey my bloggin' friends!!

Every girl has a wounded heart. Really? I’m not entirely sure they do. I grew up in a loving Christian home, where I was not physically or verbally abused. My parents loved me very much, and always encouraged me in pursuing my ambitions. That consisted of education, and choice of university courses. So, I had a happy childhood within the home, and an ok childhood out with the home. Sure, I was picked on at school, and verbally bullied, but it was never anything too bad. It was bearable, so there were no real wounds.

David, that big part of my past. Although things did not end so pleasantly, when I really think about what we shared, I remember they were happy times. The moment I remember most was when we went for a walk through the most beautiful park I have ever seen. It was a cold, wet December day, and we walked hand in hand on the perfectly laid path, which was so neatly woven between the flowers, so that without coming off the path, you could see the whole of the park. We saw it all, in all it’s glory, with the sun beating off the petals of the most delicate flowers. I remember feeling safe and secure in his arms, and I remember feeling loved.

These memories are a big part of who I am now, and David…I thank you for that. If you knew me now, how much you would see I’ve changed. I think it’s safe to say that we were both wounded by this cold, harsh break-up. But my wounds have healed, thanks for my beautiful creator. The scars still remain, but I don’t look to them, and remember the pain. No, not at all. Instead I look at the scars, and remember how much David taught me, and how much God taught me through this relationship. He was the first boy I ever thought I’d grow old with, and at the time, I thought he’d be the last. He was the first guy I was ever really serious about, and actually felt, I had a future with. He was the first guy I said “I love you” too, and actually felt something when those words left my mouth. He was the first guy who, when he said “I love you” to me, I got a tingling feeling throughout my body, and butterflies in the pit of my stomach. With this, came a smile that I thought would never leave my face.

It’s crazy now, how much things have changed. I wish I could sit here and tell you, he and I were still good friends, and that we were able to come out the other side in one piece. As you know, we spoke recently, via emails, and it truly blesses me to know, that he made it out the other side. And more than that, he’s not living in a single lane, dwelling on the past, but has moved away from that. Although I am still very much in the single lane, that’s what is right for me, for this part of my life. Yes…I think about the past, but I think about the present, and the future. I know what my past held, and know my present, but as for the future? Well…I’m sure that will be full of surprises. I have no doubt in my mind that it will, because my creator has written my story. Yes, you heard me. My wonderful Saviour has written my love story, and well, you only have to read the bible to see what He is capable of. He is a real romantic, of course He is, He created it.

Beauty is within me women, according to “Captivating”. The authors talk about women who strive for outer beauty, and disregard inner beauty, and sometimes it’s because we don’t understand inner beauty. I am not beautiful; I’ll say that right now. That’s why through this entire blog, there has never been one picture of me published. Look back if you don’t believe me, and are just checkin in. Having said that, I don’t wear make-up, and do my hair all fancy, nor do I fall fashion. I wear what I want, when I want, and honestly don’t have much of a second thought, for what people think of my appearance. As for inner beauty…I’m not really sure where I stand on that scale. But I do know one thing. I have the most beautiful, precious gift from the heavenly Father, living in me. That must count for something right?

This book also states, that every guy, wants to be a hero and rescue his one true love. It that true?? All you guys out there, is it? It’s a beautiful idea for us women, isn’t it? To have our knight in shinning armour come and rescue us. Think about it, it’s the fairytale fantasy. Every fairytale has a beautiful girl, who’s beauty if not truly revealed until the guy falls in love with her. At the end of these films, prince charming rescues his true love, and they all lived happily ever after.

It’s a beautiful idea, it really is, but guys…is it true?

peace

girl in the single lane