heartbreaker got the best of me
hey all!
Here’s my story in brief. His name shall not be disclosed for obvious reasons, but for the purpose of this, I will call him David. I met him a few years ago on holiday at a Christian conference centre in the south of England. About 6 years ago I first laid eyes on him and we quickly became friends. Years passed by with very little contact made, in fact the only time we talked was at the conference centre. Things were about to take a drastic turn. My family and I went back to the conference centre in 2002, that’s when I felt something for him. we began to write letters to each other regularly, only to discover that he liked me too. He invited my sister and I to join him and his cousin at a beach mission in the north of England the next year. We went. The week was not the best as my sister and I were two of the three Scottish people there. Anyway, one night I was talking to David about how we felt, I was only 15 at the time, just turning 16. We talked for a little bit then he told me that basically when he meets “THE ONE” he wants to marry her, and it was like p.s. you’re “THE ONE”!! I was like ahhhhhh ok. Anyway, from here we continued to write to each other regularly, texted each other all the time and phoned each other too. (He lived in the middle of England, and I in Scotland, it was difficult to see each other regularly). A year passed and we saw each other again at the same resort and spent the week together. Another year passed and we did the same, except this time, things were different. We spent a lot more time along just talking and things…taking long walks together. It appeared to be love. No-one could have predicted what was going to happen next. That year, 2004 I went down to visit him where I met his church, and the rest of his family. Most people in the church were so unfriendly to me, but of course you get the odd one or two who are overly friendly…they are those you remember. Anyway, I had a great time, I was lovely spending so much time with him but… things took a 180 degree turn. Shortly after, we had a fight about where we would live if we were to marry. This did not end particularly well. He came up here just after Christmas and for New Year (2005). This was the last time I was ever going to see him, if I’d known; perhaps things wouldn’t have ended so abruptly. He became very clingy and I couldn’t breathe when I was around him. We had previously agreed that we would save our first kiss for the alter…call me old-fashioned if you wish but each to their own right? We were happy with this arrangement, or so I thought. The day before he left, he stole that from me. I was so angry at him, I hated him! It took me so long to forgive him, but after a lot of help from the Lord, I was able to. We have barely spoken since. There have been two phone calls since that day, one to end the relationship, which I did, and the other to try and selvage a friendship. I failed on that latter part. We had agreed that we wouldn’t contact each other for a full week, and pray about things, and then talk about where we thought we stood with each other. That was set on the Friday night, but Sunday I knew what do to… I had to carry this awful feeling with me for a week, trying to think of ways to tell him it had to end without hurting him. Friday came…sign of relief; I could finally get this off my chest. I received a text message from him…he couldn’t fit me into his busy schedule. My heart broke! We had been looking at engagement rings just a month before and I couldn’t understand the pain I felt. I think one of the things that hurt the most out of this relationship ending, was that I lost many friends. I was friendly with many of his friends and particularly with his sister… I lost them all in the blink of an eye.
I guess in myself I didn’t always know why I had to end this relationship, but things have been so great for me since. I have learned a lot from my experience. If God tells you to go to Nineveh, then go to Nineveh and it will be so worth it. He has bigger and better plans for you life, but you have to let Him take control. I never really knew how my experience could help anyone or what good could possibly come from it…but this was made clear to me just under a year ago. The summer of 2005, the year my life changed and I was single again, I was invited to a summer bible camp to go as a leader and help out there. I was asked mid-week to share my testimony, something which I had never done before. Nervous me, went outside to seek God, to ask Him what He wanted me to talk about. My mind was flooded with all my memories of David and the relationship we shared together. I knew then, this was what I was to share with this group of young people. I had never met most of these people, so they didn’t know me, or my past. In fast, few of my friends actually knew everything that happened that led to my relationship with David ending. So to share this with a group of strangers, was the scariest thing I think I have ever done. I sought the Lord for strength to say what He wanted me to say, and I did it. I went up and shared with these people, something I hadn’t even told my best friend. Of course, I began to cry whilst sharing this with them. I felt so stupid. A dear friend saved me when he brought me a role of toilet paper which had been in the hall from the night before. I looked out into the audience and saw another dear friend crying because of what I was saying, this didn’t help me. After the meeting more than one person thanked me for sharing all that I did, and they told me that they learned a lot from what I had said. One said, that they needed to hear what I had said; perhaps they were in a similar situation that I was once in.
Everything happens for a reason and more often than not, the reason does not present itself clear until some time down the line… but don’t give up…you’ll discover why it happened when you need to.
peace out
girl in the single lane
Here’s my story in brief. His name shall not be disclosed for obvious reasons, but for the purpose of this, I will call him David. I met him a few years ago on holiday at a Christian conference centre in the south of England. About 6 years ago I first laid eyes on him and we quickly became friends. Years passed by with very little contact made, in fact the only time we talked was at the conference centre. Things were about to take a drastic turn. My family and I went back to the conference centre in 2002, that’s when I felt something for him. we began to write letters to each other regularly, only to discover that he liked me too. He invited my sister and I to join him and his cousin at a beach mission in the north of England the next year. We went. The week was not the best as my sister and I were two of the three Scottish people there. Anyway, one night I was talking to David about how we felt, I was only 15 at the time, just turning 16. We talked for a little bit then he told me that basically when he meets “THE ONE” he wants to marry her, and it was like p.s. you’re “THE ONE”!! I was like ahhhhhh ok. Anyway, from here we continued to write to each other regularly, texted each other all the time and phoned each other too. (He lived in the middle of England, and I in Scotland, it was difficult to see each other regularly). A year passed and we saw each other again at the same resort and spent the week together. Another year passed and we did the same, except this time, things were different. We spent a lot more time along just talking and things…taking long walks together. It appeared to be love. No-one could have predicted what was going to happen next. That year, 2004 I went down to visit him where I met his church, and the rest of his family. Most people in the church were so unfriendly to me, but of course you get the odd one or two who are overly friendly…they are those you remember. Anyway, I had a great time, I was lovely spending so much time with him but… things took a 180 degree turn. Shortly after, we had a fight about where we would live if we were to marry. This did not end particularly well. He came up here just after Christmas and for New Year (2005). This was the last time I was ever going to see him, if I’d known; perhaps things wouldn’t have ended so abruptly. He became very clingy and I couldn’t breathe when I was around him. We had previously agreed that we would save our first kiss for the alter…call me old-fashioned if you wish but each to their own right? We were happy with this arrangement, or so I thought. The day before he left, he stole that from me. I was so angry at him, I hated him! It took me so long to forgive him, but after a lot of help from the Lord, I was able to. We have barely spoken since. There have been two phone calls since that day, one to end the relationship, which I did, and the other to try and selvage a friendship. I failed on that latter part. We had agreed that we wouldn’t contact each other for a full week, and pray about things, and then talk about where we thought we stood with each other. That was set on the Friday night, but Sunday I knew what do to… I had to carry this awful feeling with me for a week, trying to think of ways to tell him it had to end without hurting him. Friday came…sign of relief; I could finally get this off my chest. I received a text message from him…he couldn’t fit me into his busy schedule. My heart broke! We had been looking at engagement rings just a month before and I couldn’t understand the pain I felt. I think one of the things that hurt the most out of this relationship ending, was that I lost many friends. I was friendly with many of his friends and particularly with his sister… I lost them all in the blink of an eye.
I guess in myself I didn’t always know why I had to end this relationship, but things have been so great for me since. I have learned a lot from my experience. If God tells you to go to Nineveh, then go to Nineveh and it will be so worth it. He has bigger and better plans for you life, but you have to let Him take control. I never really knew how my experience could help anyone or what good could possibly come from it…but this was made clear to me just under a year ago. The summer of 2005, the year my life changed and I was single again, I was invited to a summer bible camp to go as a leader and help out there. I was asked mid-week to share my testimony, something which I had never done before. Nervous me, went outside to seek God, to ask Him what He wanted me to talk about. My mind was flooded with all my memories of David and the relationship we shared together. I knew then, this was what I was to share with this group of young people. I had never met most of these people, so they didn’t know me, or my past. In fast, few of my friends actually knew everything that happened that led to my relationship with David ending. So to share this with a group of strangers, was the scariest thing I think I have ever done. I sought the Lord for strength to say what He wanted me to say, and I did it. I went up and shared with these people, something I hadn’t even told my best friend. Of course, I began to cry whilst sharing this with them. I felt so stupid. A dear friend saved me when he brought me a role of toilet paper which had been in the hall from the night before. I looked out into the audience and saw another dear friend crying because of what I was saying, this didn’t help me. After the meeting more than one person thanked me for sharing all that I did, and they told me that they learned a lot from what I had said. One said, that they needed to hear what I had said; perhaps they were in a similar situation that I was once in.
Everything happens for a reason and more often than not, the reason does not present itself clear until some time down the line… but don’t give up…you’ll discover why it happened when you need to.
peace out
girl in the single lane
posted by single and waiting @ 1:41 PM
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