ever feel like you don't belong?
Hey all!
Every feel like you don’t belong? I do, all the time. I have just finished my second year at uni. I have been in the same class with the same 32 people, and I still feel like I don’t belong. Don’t get me wrong, they are nice people, but I’m not like them and they are not like me. Sure, they know what I believe and everything, and will randomly ask me a weird question about it…but I still don’t feel like part of the class. I know they mean well. When I tell people I travel to uni, most of them think I’m crazy…its only two trains and about 1hr and a half each way…but that can feel so much longer when you’re all alone. It gives me too much time to think and reflect on my day, which aint always a bad thing.
The funny thing is, I know I’m on the right course, and I know that I’m at the right uni, and I know God wants me to be a social worker…I guess sometimes I need to be reminded of that. I guess I often wonder why? I’m surrounded with people who have one common goal in life – to be a social worker – and yet, I feel so different from them.
Feeling like I don’t belong is the last of my worries, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. When you have had your heart broken, it’s hard to forget the pain…but what is more painful than that, is remembering the good times you shared with that person. That makes it all the more hurtful. I sit and think about this one time, my ex and I spent the day together, walking through this beautiful garden, hand in hand. This was the place his parents had their wedding photos taken. It was so beautiful. I vaguely remembering my happiness, because I know what came next. I guess because of the way in ended…my mind is occupied with those negative memories. Just listening to Kelly Clarkson’s song “Behind those hazel eyes”, I remember the only time he ever saw me cry. I looked to him for comfort, and he did nothing. I felt so alone. I made a promise to myself, that I would never let him see me cry again. That was two years ago, and he hasn’t. I could never let him know that he caused me to cry myself to sleep, night after night
All things said and done, there is hope for the future. My past will continue to haunt me if I don’t deal with it. I liked the fact that I had someone; someone who I thought would never leave me. My future was set. But I kinda like this whole, not knowing, thing. It keeps me on my toes, but it’s exciting, because I know God holds my future, and well His plan is perfect, so how can I possibly be afraid of what’s to come?
peace
girl in the single lane
Every feel like you don’t belong? I do, all the time. I have just finished my second year at uni. I have been in the same class with the same 32 people, and I still feel like I don’t belong. Don’t get me wrong, they are nice people, but I’m not like them and they are not like me. Sure, they know what I believe and everything, and will randomly ask me a weird question about it…but I still don’t feel like part of the class. I know they mean well. When I tell people I travel to uni, most of them think I’m crazy…its only two trains and about 1hr and a half each way…but that can feel so much longer when you’re all alone. It gives me too much time to think and reflect on my day, which aint always a bad thing.
The funny thing is, I know I’m on the right course, and I know that I’m at the right uni, and I know God wants me to be a social worker…I guess sometimes I need to be reminded of that. I guess I often wonder why? I’m surrounded with people who have one common goal in life – to be a social worker – and yet, I feel so different from them.
Feeling like I don’t belong is the last of my worries, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. When you have had your heart broken, it’s hard to forget the pain…but what is more painful than that, is remembering the good times you shared with that person. That makes it all the more hurtful. I sit and think about this one time, my ex and I spent the day together, walking through this beautiful garden, hand in hand. This was the place his parents had their wedding photos taken. It was so beautiful. I vaguely remembering my happiness, because I know what came next. I guess because of the way in ended…my mind is occupied with those negative memories. Just listening to Kelly Clarkson’s song “Behind those hazel eyes”, I remember the only time he ever saw me cry. I looked to him for comfort, and he did nothing. I felt so alone. I made a promise to myself, that I would never let him see me cry again. That was two years ago, and he hasn’t. I could never let him know that he caused me to cry myself to sleep, night after night
All things said and done, there is hope for the future. My past will continue to haunt me if I don’t deal with it. I liked the fact that I had someone; someone who I thought would never leave me. My future was set. But I kinda like this whole, not knowing, thing. It keeps me on my toes, but it’s exciting, because I know God holds my future, and well His plan is perfect, so how can I possibly be afraid of what’s to come?
peace
girl in the single lane
posted by single and waiting @ 11:57 AM
1 Comments:
At 4:30 PM,
Portrait of Peter said…
How right you are "ever feel like you don't belong". Your journey to uni - alone and your class colleagues - still feeling an emptiness.
I sometimes feel that "I also do not belong" to this time and place. I have often felt that I should have lived in victorian times - so much of me - seems to be of that character. Now I feel that I too, travel alone and am but a shadow with those I come in contact with.
Please be strong for God has chosen your career - to become a Social Worker. Your character as well as your determination and love in God has made you into who you are today.
We all of uncertainties at times in our lives - what you must accept is God's path towards becoming a Social Worker.
Whilst I will never know which sector of Social Work you have chosen - I believe that Children constantly cry out for a caring and sincere person to whom they can confide and to whom above all they can trust for guidance and support.
You are that person.
God Bless You
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